Have you ever written a list about everything you're anxious about and then gotten anxious about the length of said list? No? Just me? (*adds this to the list*)
I have anxiety. I've struggled with it my whole life. It fucking sucks. Now I know there are a lot of things that are a lot worse than having anxiety (depression, cancer, ebola, ect.) and the fact that I complain about having anxiety while knowing full well there are people with way bigger issues gives me anxiety. I guess if you saw my list you would see that everything gives me anxiety. I see a therapist (which I'm very open about, is that taboo?), I have coping strategies, but lately I've just been feeling super anxious. I literally had an anxiety attack in class last week (luckily my professor was very understanding and let me leave class for as long as I needed to). I think it's due to a combination of changes that kind of just all happened at once: I moved into a new apartment and I have a million things going on (class, internship, play, being a research assistant, applying to grad school, trying to have some sort of social life). I think another part of it is my anxiety over being perpetually single, while being surrounded by people in relationships. I kid you not, literally all of the people I am closest to are in relationships. Every. Single. One. Side note: where do you find nice boys?! Certainly not in bars, or in class (because 90% of the people in my major are girls), or on Tinder (although Tinder is kind of hilarious). Anyway, yeah, I'm just a ball of anxiety right now. I need to stop procrastinating everything and stop being so hard on myself. I know if I get my shit together and stop freaking out about social stuff things are more likely to fall into place. Well, hopefully.
Okay, now I should make a grad school checklist or something. I'm feeling productive. Why is it that as soon as the clock strikes midnight I feel as lively as I do post-coffee? Wait, I just yawned. I'm in this weird mesh of being tired and wired (HAH rhymes). Dios mio.
-Kulie Julie
I have anxiety. I've struggled with it my whole life. It fucking sucks. Now I know there are a lot of things that are a lot worse than having anxiety (depression, cancer, ebola, ect.) and the fact that I complain about having anxiety while knowing full well there are people with way bigger issues gives me anxiety. I guess if you saw my list you would see that everything gives me anxiety. I see a therapist (which I'm very open about, is that taboo?), I have coping strategies, but lately I've just been feeling super anxious. I literally had an anxiety attack in class last week (luckily my professor was very understanding and let me leave class for as long as I needed to). I think it's due to a combination of changes that kind of just all happened at once: I moved into a new apartment and I have a million things going on (class, internship, play, being a research assistant, applying to grad school, trying to have some sort of social life). I think another part of it is my anxiety over being perpetually single, while being surrounded by people in relationships. I kid you not, literally all of the people I am closest to are in relationships. Every. Single. One. Side note: where do you find nice boys?! Certainly not in bars, or in class (because 90% of the people in my major are girls), or on Tinder (although Tinder is kind of hilarious). Anyway, yeah, I'm just a ball of anxiety right now. I need to stop procrastinating everything and stop being so hard on myself. I know if I get my shit together and stop freaking out about social stuff things are more likely to fall into place. Well, hopefully.
Okay, now I should make a grad school checklist or something. I'm feeling productive. Why is it that as soon as the clock strikes midnight I feel as lively as I do post-coffee? Wait, I just yawned. I'm in this weird mesh of being tired and wired (HAH rhymes). Dios mio.
-Kulie Julie
No comments:
Post a Comment